My son walked into his brother’s room, grabbed the sleeping cat off his bed, and brought her into his room. My thoughts are: ”How can you be so mean?” ”Why can’t you let your brother enjoy the company of your cat for even one night?” These thoughts stuck with me for the next little while. The more they ran through my head, the more furious I became. I started to really believe they were true.
I called a friend and told her what happened. She told me to calm down and describe to her what he did. I repeated what I said to her earlier: “He walked into his brother’s room, grabbed the cat off his bed, and brought her into his room.” Then my thought of, “How can he be so mean?”, crept in again and again.
She could tell I was still charged and asked me to describe to her the situation again. Every time I described what he did, I associated the “mean” thought to his action. This asking the same question and describing the same scenario went on for about ten minutes before I realized “he took the cat off his brother’s bed.” That’s all! Is that such a big deal??
It is associating the judgement of “how mean” to his action that caused so much agony for me. Letting go of the “mean” thought was so liberating. This was only possible by sticking to the observation my son simply removed a cat from one room and placed the cat in another room. Realizing this enabled me to consider he might have actually let his brother enjoyed the cat a bit before bringing the cat back into his room for the night. It created some space for me to allow the idea that it’s possible he is not a mean kid after all.
Very deep down inside, I know this to be true. However, it has been buried by years of untrue thoughts. Only can the truth be let out and calmness settle in when I start questioning my thoughts and the believes around them.