Posted by on April 21, 2010

My son walked into his brother’s room, grabbed the sleeping cat off his bed, and brought the cat into his room.  My thoughts are:  ”That is really not nice!”  ”Why can’t you let your brother enjoy the company of your cat for even one night?”  These thoughts stuck with me for the next little while.  The more they ran through my head, the more furious I became.  I started to really believe they were true.

I called a friend and told her what happened.  She told me to calm down and describe to her what he did.  I repeated what I said to her earlier:  “He walked into his brother’s room, grabbed the cat off his bed, and brought the cat into his room.”  Then my thought of, “That is really not nice!”, crept in again and again.

She could tell I was still charged and asked me to describe the situation again. Every time I described what he did, I associated the “not nice!” thought to his action.  She kept asking the question “What did he do?” and I kept describing the same scenario. This went on for about ten minutes before I realized “he took the cat off his brother’s bed.” That’s all!  Is that such a big deal??

It is associating the judgement of “not nice!” to his action that caused so much agony for me.  Letting go of this judgment was so liberating.  This was only possible by sticking to the observation that my son simply took a cat from one room and brought the cat into another room.  Realizing this enabled me to consider he might have actually let his brother enjoyed the cat a bit before bringing the cat back into his room for the night.  How nice!!

Very deep down inside, I know he is a nice kid.  However, it has been buried by years of untrue thoughts. Only can the truth be let out and calmness settle in when I start questioning my thoughts and the believes around them.

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